Perfect Trust
by Mauriko
Summary: Demon Diary. Eclipse has doubts about his servitude to Raenef.


More and more lately I wonder if I have made the right choice, bringing this child to the citadel of the demon lord.  
  
It is not because he is clumsy, although he has broken more priceless artifacts than even magic can wholly repair. It is not because he is lazy, although routing an army of elves from the plains of Gised is a simpler undertaking than getting the young lord out of bed in the morning. It is not because he is foolish, even though he cannot seem to keep two words in his head during his lessons.  
  
But I cannot forget the day that the knight-girl Erutis came to slay him, and he... he spared her life, when even his rudimentary skills could have killed her then. I remember standing in the garden that day, reprimanding him, reducing him to tears over his misconduct.  
  
I determined in that moment that I would, somehow, find a way to bring young Raenef to a standard of behavior more fitting to his status; that somehow, I would burn away the flighty dross to reveal the true core of iron power of a demon lord within him. And I was convinced that the first step I would take, right then and there, would be to teach him how to kill.  
  
Out into the courtyard I summoned a crusader, one of the created beasts that guarded the castle. While he looked at me anxiously, fearful of my ire, I showed him the precepts of the Death Drill.  
  
It took only a fleeting second of concentration on my part, and the beast fell to the ground in a rain of blood. I spared it no more attention than that; it was but a magical being constructed of sheep's blood and paper, but when Raenef saw --  
  
From years of battles during the Hangma campaign, I have learned to recognize nothing if not devastation. I saw it then, in his eyes; a moment of uncomprehending shock, and then grief. It took him a moment to realize what I had just done, and then he turned to me, and his eyes flashed one brief instant of betrayal before closing in a faint.  
  
When Lord Raenef next woke, he seemed back to normal; fretting about tomatoes, of all things, and the look of perfect trust restored to his gaze. But I cannot forget that briefest moment of hurt, and in my moments of quiet it has come back to haunt me, and make me doubt.  
  
I wonder now if I am doing right, to turn this sweet child into a thing of darkness. That darkness is his destiny, and all the power that it entails. But if the power of the Dark Lord means crushing out that light, that sweet innocence... can that be worth the price paid? Could anything be?  
  
I should not doubt so. He was born and destined for this position; the gods themselves chose him for this position. Disbelieving as I was in the beginning, I checked and rechecked until there can be no doubt; Raenef is the newest Demon Lord. Not even the senior Demon Lords can cast doubt on that fact, no matter how unfit they find him. And Raenef was pleased enough to leave the grubby human world behind, to trade fleas and hunger for the opulent Citadel and all the luxury his rank entails.  
  
Yet... the Demon Lords, let alone the gods, are not known for the concern of one soul when weighed against the balance of dark and light. And Raenef himself is but a child, knowing nothing of the world he was subjecting himself to when he agreed to come with me. He could not have known that there would such be a price to pay for all the food, the soft silks and warm fires that he craved. Will-he, nil-he, Raenef must become a Demon Lord. And I must do whatever it takes to see that aim through.  
  
I am what I am; the demon Eclipse, ranked fourth in existence, for millennia serving at the hand of darkness. I have faithfully served generations of demon lords, and now Lord Raenef is my liege. My lord, and not my apprentice, no matter how he may act; I can never allow myself to forget my place.  
  
That trust... it confounds me. He is... innocence, and light, and laughter; everything I am not, everything that I have set myself against. He ought to fear me, despise me, and yet he looks to me for guidance, protection, comfort. I cannot understand it, and I fear it... for I fear that his trust in me will be what allows me to destroy him.  
  
I... sometimes wish, in the dark hours of the night, that I could send him away. Return him to the human world where he could remain as happy and innocent as he is now. Sometimes I wish that I had found some other demon lord to serve, or that the old lord had not died so suddenly, and I would not be faced with this terrible trust.  
  
Then sense reasserts itself, and duty, telling me that I am bound to stay with him; and with it comes a secret selfish feeling of relief. For I do not want him to go; I want to keep him by my side, for always, just like he said. His sweetness draws me to him, like a dark moth to a bright flame, and I could not pull away no matter how much I wish him his innocence.  
  
Yes; I am grateful to my duty, for it binds me to him, teaching him and protecting him and watching over him and keeping him near. I must never let him know how he fascinates me; he would not, could not, return the feeling, and that would be the ultimate befoulment of his young innocence.  
  
Somehow he continues to trust me, turning towards me like a flower to the sun; and I will use that to draw him to me for as long as I can, even as I lead him into darkness. Perhaps Lord Raenef will someday forgive me for that betrayal; but I do not think I ever will.


End file.
